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JETZT: May I call you Dr. Love ?
RF: Pardon? What makes you say that?
J: In almost all of your movies the topic is always love. As well as in your three new ones: "Sunshine", "The End of the Affair" and "Onegin". You should be quite familiar with it by now.
RF: That's just camouflage. I only pretend to be in the know. But frankly spoken: In affairs of the heart I am the worst adviser you can imagine.
J: Nevertheless you are regarded as the epitome of a romantic lover.
RF: Thanks for the compliment. But in reality I am doing everything wrongly which can be done wrongly.
J: Tell us about it.
RF: I want to pay a compliment - and what happens? The woman leaves the room offended because I seem to have said something stupid again. Women don't act half as embarrassing as men.
JF: Why?
RF: Because they can cover up their excitement much better than men. Much better than me at least.
J: What was the most embarrassing thing you ever did?
RF: Instead of finding words of my own I like to quote others, for example Shakespeare. One time I even played "Romeo and Juliet" and sung in front of her window.
J: Well, that's nice, isn't it?
RF: The girl didn't think so. I think I would have had better chances with her had I invited her to a Stones concert instead of howling around myself.
J: Rolling Stones? How old had you been there?
RF: Pre-pubertal. Young enough to just excuse that.
J: I presume you are writing wunderful love letters as well.
RF: To be honest, yes, but I never send them.
J: What else do you do when you like a woman?
RF: I would love it if she'd chat me up herself.
J: What about your current girlfriend, the actress Francesca Annis?
RF: That was a bit easier. We played together in a theatre play, so I had an easy job. The first words were inevitably exchanged during work.
J: In your movies love always ends tragically, just think of the "English Patient". Does love always have to be that difficult?
RF: Yes. I wished it was easier. But with me, love is always difficult, and nothing is more complicated than a relationship with someone you love.
J: How come?
RF: Everything which had been selfunderstood and normal before, is all of a sudden being taken much more seriously, considered as an exceptional situation, every word, every gesture is weighed carefully. People in love suddenly do refer everything to themselves. If you want to make a date with a friend and he says that he doesn't have time, you say "Okay, next time." But if it is the person you love you immediately think "Help, probably she doesn't like me." It is a constant up and down between security and insecurity. That's the reason why there are so many dramas in relationships, up to murder due to jealousy.
J: Could you imagine going that far?
RF: I would rather direct the fury against myself.
J: Have you ever wanted to die because of lovesickness?
RF: I think there is nobody who didn't want to do that during an acute case [of lovesickness]. But the wish to die fortunately never had been there for long. In the last consequence I am too cowardly for that and have preferred to become an actor. Now I can die a thousand deaths without really being dead.
J: Do men suffer differently from women?
RF: Men tend to suppress their grief, they go into a bar, drink too much and complain about the silly cow who has just betrayed or left them. Women prefer to stay at home, bury themselves in their grief, cry into their pillows and ask themselves what they have done wrong.
J: And how do you suffer?
RF: I am closer to the women in my grief.
J: Maybe that is the reason why they are swooning over you that much.
RF: Well, I always thought women want strong men and not such crybabies.
J: What do you think of the sentence "I can't live without you"?
RF: Many think this is a declaration of love, but I think everybody who says this should urgently go to a psychiatrist.
J: Why?
RF: Because that's got nothing to do with love, but with blackmail.
J: Your characters in "Sunshine" and "The End of the Affair" seem to love grief. Is this familiar to you from your private life?
RF (laughs embarrassed): Yes, somehow. Having bad feelings can be like an addiction. As crazy as this sounds, but it is often easier to bear pain than happiness. Of course it hurts, but you know how to handle it. When I am feeling well, I am getting nervous because I am always expecting it to be over again soon. I tell myself: It cannot be true that I am so happy, that must be a mix-up of fate.
J: And if the happiness doesn't go away alone, you are just helping a bit?
RF: Exactly, because you can't bear that constant fear that it could be over again or that your girlfriend could leave you again. And then you are acting stupidly untill she is really unnerved and goes all by herself, you practically drive her out of the house yourself, so to speak.
J: Did you ever do that before?
RF: Yes, unfortunately. I withdrew and didn't show up for weeks, simply wasn't there anymore. Without any explanation.
J: In your new movie "Onegin" the hero is once again such a fool that he loves a woman but forbids himself to do so.
RF: I know about that. The horror, the everlasting battle between sense and sensibility. I wish I would not always be thinking so much, not wanting to know beforehand how it comes out, just being led by love. I admire my mother's brother for that. He had been a Greek-Orthodox priest and quit his profession for love, which isn't as easy for a priest as it would be for me as an actor.
J: Is there a couple where you would say: That's a relationship like I want to have it myself?
RF: Yes, not very imaginative, but this couple are my parents. My father was a farmer, my mother a novelist when they met. Back then everybody said: This will never work. They come from totally different worlds. But they showed it to all of them, the marriage was wonderful and lasted until my mother died six years ago.
J: Do you believe in the love of your life?
RF: Yes, but not in one for the whole life, but each time anew when I fall in
love again.
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© EL STEPHO
Added to the RF Reading Room on January 28, 2000
EL STEPHO